Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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