i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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