he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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