If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
