I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
