he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Dicks are not precious.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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