We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
