I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
