two words: eviction party
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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