I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
