4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
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