and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
