Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
