forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
