next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
