dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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