Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
