just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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