So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
