are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize