I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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