That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's shark week go big or go home
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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