Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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