Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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