i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
you never un-have a 4some
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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