WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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