check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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