I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize