i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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