seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
