you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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