when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
