okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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