I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
