i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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I need you to use more vowels.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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