But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
