I would go down on you faster than GM stock
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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