You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
