So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
