This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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