I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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