he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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