we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
