Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
