they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
