Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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