Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
