The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
