At least make sure they are 18
Why
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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