I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize