Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
