we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize