this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
a search helicopter?!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Boobs speak an international language.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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