Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
