Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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