all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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