so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
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He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize