Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
