my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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